


the stages of love

by sehoprint



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a sad ending, Break Up, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, Post-Break Up, it jumps around, like it goes from shit to good to shit to good to shit y'know, why do I keep writing xiuchen angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 23:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18679150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sehoprint/pseuds/sehoprint
Summary: how does love fall apart?akawhy do i keep writing xiuchen angst





	the stages of love

warning !!; this text includes a brief description of fainting

 

~

 

his friends told him that eventually things would get better, and he now knows that it took him far too long to realise that was a lie.

 

~

 

minseok sat with jongdae’s head laid his on his lap, the other sighing at the feeling of the other’s fingers carding softly through his black hair. the older looked down at his boyfriend, and smiled.

 

“i love you,” he whispered to the younger, smiling softly as the other beamed up at him at the words.

 

“i love you too.”

 

~

 

minseok should have know that something was wrong when he opened the door, blurry eyed from the sleep in his eyes and saw jongdae standing weakly on his front porch at three in the morning. he was sure he saw red rimmed eyes on the other, but ushered him inside of his house, quickly shutting the door softly behind him.

 

“what’s wrong, babe?” he asked the older quickly, worry evident on his face.

 

in lieu of answering, the younger threw himself into the older’s body, tears soaking into his yellow and blue pyjama shirt. minseok carded his fingers through the other’s hair softly and carefully. minseok stood there, holding his boyfriend in his arms while he cried, and murmuring soft words of comfort, hoping that he was helping somehow.

 

~

 

they hadn’t talked about that night because everytime the older would attempt to bring it up, jongdae shut the conversation down as soon as it started.

 

especially the day after they both woke up in the brunet’s bed after he had led the other there when the tears had finally stopped.

 

“what happened last night?” the older whispered into the other’s chest. he tried to ignore the sudden tense of his boyfriend’s body, and sighed deeply.

 

“nothing, it’s not important,” the other whispered carelessly, even making a show of waving his hand to dismiss the question.

 

“i doubt it was nothing, but we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” minseok murmured softly, words muffled by his boyfriend’s chest.

 

“then we won’t,” jongdae replied sharply, clearly ending the conversation there.

 

“what?” minseok gaped, surprised at the tone of his boyfriend’s words causing him to sit up, the sheets pooling at his waist.

 

“i don’t want to talk about it, obviously.”

 

minseok tried to ignore the eye roll from the other, and instead pulled the covers away from his clothed body.

 

“i’ll make breakfast,” the older said to try to distract himself from the annoyed look on the younger’s face. he scrambled to get up and was almost out the door when jongdae called for him.

 

“don’t bother making any for me, i’m leaving now,” the younger said, walking past the other and into the living room where he started pulling his shoes on, minseok following close behind.

 

“what?” minseok questioned at his boyfriend's odd behaviour. it wasn’t unlikely that jongdae would always stay for breakfast before they went on with their days, no matter how much of it involved the other.

 

“gosh, is that all you say these days?” the black haired boy muttered lowly, probably unknowing that the other heard him.

 

minseok cast his eyes downward at the floor at the words, but looked up at the jingling of keys that were most likely jongdae’s.

 

“wha-” he stopped himself, remembering the other’s words from a few seconds ago. he sighed. “o- okay, i guess,” he stuttered, trying to ignore the pain in his heart. “i’ll see you around?”

 

“yeah, see you.”

 

“bye,” he tried to finish, but the door had already been closed.

 

~

 

“my hands are cold,” minseok huffed, pouting at the other. his boyfriend chuckled at the childish behaviour and pulled the boy’s hand out from his thin pockets and laced them together.

 

“there,” the boy said. “now your hands won't freeze off,” he finished, giving the other’s fingers a quick kiss before bringing their hands to his pocket.

 

the older blushed and looked away from where he had been staring at where their hands had been laced together.

 

“i love you,” the older whispered, turning to the younger, blushing.

 

“i love you more,” the other whispered back as he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend.

 

“not possible,” minseok pouted.

“yes possible.”

 

~

 

minseok sighed at the dread in his chest at what just happened.

 

jongdae left him.

 

jongdae really left. he’s gone. he’s no longer here. he didn’t love him anymore.

 

no matter how many times and different ways he tried to say it, it didn't make it any more believable. his brain only kept supplying excuses that did nothing but make his heart hurt more.

 

“there’s no way that jongdae’s _really_ gone. he must of just been joking.” that one wasn’t even believable. “he’s gotta come back, i mean, he loves me.” he turned to stare at the picture of them on their first anniversary. “right?

 

it seemed like all of the walls were closing in, and the ringing in his ears didn’t make it any better before his vision went black and he felt his body hit the cold floor.

 

~

 

{ **_baby <3 !!_ ** }

_hey, can we meet at your house later today?_

_i need to talk to you._

 

minseok frowned at the two messages that he got. he quickly tilted his head to the side and back in confusion while typing out a reply.

 

{ **_seokkie_ ** }

_yeah!!_

_is everything alright?_

 

there was no reply.

 

~

 

a few hours later, jongdae knocked at minseok's door, and the older opened the door to see his boyfriend.

 

he showed jongdae a small smile, and the other returned one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“why didn’t you just use your key? you know that’s why i gave it to you right? because i’m too lazy to walk to the door...” the brunet questioned in confusion.

 

“oh, right… about the key,” jongdae started, fishing the said item from his coat pocket. “i think i should give it back to you minseok.”

 

minseok froze.

 

“wait, what?” he breathed out, looking up slightly at the younger. “why?” he pressed.

 

“why?” the taller repeated. “because i think we should break up.”

 

minseok never knew his world could come crashing down in the span of two seconds.

 

~

 

“ah, minseok-ah. i love you so much,” jongdae whispered into the older’s face, nuzzling his nose with the others.

 

minseok giggled at the words and action, weakly “pushing” jongdae away to speak. “and i love you more, jongdae-ah,” he whispered back, gently leaning in to meet his boyfriend’s lips in a slow, love-filled kiss.

 

~

 

“jongdae! stop!” minseok yelled across the kitchen counter at his boyfriend.

 

“stop what, _minseok-ah?_ didn’t you say i don’t show you enough affection anymore? that i don't even, ‘say your name anymore’?” jongdae pressed, using a harsh mocking tone to imitate the older. “is that it, _minseok-ah_? is that why you keep asking about that night three months ago?” he yelled harshly.

 

jongdae kept stepping closer, and minseok took four steps back for every step closer jongdae took.

 

“j-jongdae. just leave it, please,” he whimpered. he knew that the younger would _never_ hurt him physically no matter how angry he was, but when jongdae was mad, he spewed out some pretty hurtful words, and minseok was never really on the receiving end of them.

 

until now, now being the past three months, that is.

 

“oh, so _now_ , you wanna just ‘leave it’?” the very slightly taller drawled at, piercing his hard stare at his boyfriend. minseok nodded, though his mind was screaming at him not to, and silently breathed out the word, “yes.”

 

“fine,” jongdae spat, turning around swiftly and grabbing his coat to pull on, before rushing out of minseok's apartment.

 

~

 

when those seven words came out jongdae’s mouth, minseok had to admit, he believed he was joking for a second.

 

that is, until he looked up at the others face and saw the seriousness in his eyes and realized that jongdae would never play a joke like that.

 

“w-why?” the older pushed out, trying his hardest to keep his tears from spilling out of his eyes. that was unfair to his (ex)boyfriend, to manipulate him into guilt and send him off with the last image he had of him was him sobbing.

 

“minseok, i know you’ve noticed how rocky these past few months have been.”

 

“well, yeah, of course i did, but i’d hoped we’d get past it. i had faith in you- had faith in _us_ ,” the shorter defended.

 

“i’m sorry, minseok-ah. i’m sorry for all of the pain i caused you in these past few months together.” jongdae spoke so softly and gently that he was sure that he could just close his eyes and imagine that the younger was just talking him to sleep as they lied in whoever’s chosen bed for the night.

 

but then he opened his eyes, and saw jongdae staring down at him in worry, and he felt dread pool in his gut.

 

“j-just… just stay with me for one more night, and i can let you go,” minseok whispered as he smiled weakly. a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and he tried not to cry at the familiarity.

 

~

 

they did what minseok wished he could say was make love that night, but it was really just a goodbye that ended theirs.

 

minseok tried not to cry at the sight of jongdae leaving once and for all in the morning after having breakfast with minseok, and the older left a soft goodbye kiss on his lips, followed by many more passionate kisses. those were the ones where minseok allowed himself to believe that everything was alright as jongdae pushed him up against the door and kissed him senseless until the taller pulled away with a soft, sorry smile.

 

it just felt like a normal day that jongdae had to leave for work as minseok sent jongdae off with a bright smile, but once the other was out of the house, he felt the tears drip down his face as he threw the house keys sitting mockingly on the counter at the kitchen wall.

 

~

 

he should have seen it, really. the way that jongdae’s touches were slowly getting shorter, and lighter, the way that he would go through lengths to spend as little as possible time with minseok, the way that he’d try to sleep as far away from the other on the bed when they were sleeping together, and most importantly, in the way that jongdae’s eyes never held that light and love when looking at minseok anymore.

 

he _should_ have seen it. but he didn’t.

 

he let himself be blinded by one-sided love, broken promises, and false hope, just so he could sit there and believe that nothing was wrong.

 

but things were wrong, and there was nothing to blind himself to that fact now. all minseok could do was blind himself from the pain. that fact that it _hurts_.

 

but there was no way to pretend that there weren’t tears rolling down his cheeks, snot around his nose and mouth area, his hair mussed up in all directions from pulling it _way_ to hard. there was no way to ignore that.

 

but sitting there, in that devastating moment, he wished that he _didn’t_ blind himself while jongdae was slipping away, for he could have pulled him back in before he got to far out.

 

but he didn’t, because he was a coward. a coward that tried to pretend that everything was okay, and that their love was fine.

 

but now, sitting on that couch, he only felt like a fool. a dumb, oblivious, fool, whose heart was aching for the other half of them, who would never come back.

 

~

 

end.

**Author's Note:**

> somebody pls stop me from writing xiuchen angst. I've just been so sad since minseok's enlistment announcement eye-
> 
> but y'know, take this angst if you are too :,)


End file.
